I'm starting to wonder how I can get things to be better in my life, but I really only think that 2 things could do it and I'm not sure I'm willing to give either up because it's only a maybe. Nothing is certain.
Nothing good has happened in so long. Nothing that has brought a smile to my face. I feel like I'm back to my old self when I never really smile. I don't know how to be sincere and I can't pay attention to other people's stories. I try so hard and I try to make a nice smile to go with my trying to listen. All I can think is "why can't I pay attention and be normal. Why doesn't my head just stop. Why can't it just be over."
I just want someone to tell me what to do, to tell me that it's ok and that I'm making the right choices. Right now though, I'm not making the right choices and I'm not ready to because I'm too afraid of the outcome. I'm depressed, lonely, and tired. I have no motivation, my body is ridiculous and I can't focus on my job let alone my life.
On the bright side....
Heather is moving in.
Why is that my only brightside? Shouldn't there be more?
Yes Heather you should be happyer. If you really are haveing that much trouble being happy though then what I would do is make the happy things in my life even more exiting, and happyer. If you look on the brightside of things instead of just looking at the sad side then better things will start to happen. More fun and exiting things will start happyening in your life.
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