Le battement d'ailes du papillon

wow oh wow oh wow.
"Happenstance" was an amazing movie.
It was about how certain things you do in the world changes it every day. It's focused on Audrey Tautou and Faudel and how they meet after the most random day. It has several different stories to it and I just loved them all.

Here are some memorable quotes from the movie:

"There's not a gesture, even the most insignificant, that can't change the world. Every detail, every gesture, as slight as it may be, reveals an infinity of truths and thus has an endless repercussion and grandiose effects."

"You only have to piss in the sea to make the ocean rise."

"Do something stupid, random and ludicrous. That stupid, random and ludicrous act can upset the order of the world."

That movies was just amazing.
Next movie on my list is "Priceless." Tomorrow I may watch "Paris, Je t'aime."

I love these movies. They make me so happy.

Dieu est grand, je suis toute petite

"There's a wall between us.
Is there a door in that wall? 
A tiny, little one?
There's a wall between us. 
Not a wall, a rampart" 
-From the movie "God is Great, I am not"

I'm obsessed with French Films. 
Tomorrow I'm watching Happenstance a.k.a. "Le battement d'ailes du papillon"

Movies may be movies, but sometimes they're much more than that.

Every flavor only on Wednesdays.

I am trying an experiment with my meds this week. I took lamictal only last night to see if it caused bad dreams and tonight I'm only taking trazodone. Let's find the stem of the situation. Maybe it's me with a scrambled mind. Who knows. I hope I can find out though. 


I wouldn't mind a surprise visit or text from the boyfriend right now. This is kind of hard. Hopefully it's worth it though. Only time can tell. Life should be a little easier. I don't understand how it came to this at all. I could be a bad girlfriend maybe, I'm not quite sure. Maybe he's just scared. Maybe he just liked being friends. I like him as my boyfriend though and I hope he figures out that he likes it too. 


Matt invited me to go see him and Derby the other day. I declined. I always decline. I wish I could see my little bundle of joy without the human. Might be worth it though. 


Golfing with dad is baller. Golfing in general is baller. It keeps me from getting wrapped up in my mind. I don't have anything going on tomorrow so maybe I'll pack up my clubs and go hit some balls after work. Good plan.

If it's stapled together, it's one invoice

My nightmares seem to get more disturbing lately. I think I have to go talk to my doctor about them. My mind is completely scrambled and that could be a factor. I don't really know. I just know I wish I was in bed right now instead of working.
Back to work...

There is a spoiler in this post... Not a huge one, but one.

What a hellish week. I hope the boyfriend finds things out. He is a really good person; just not where he wants to be. I'll be around though. 


I think I've found the stem of my nightmares and I think it's because I read and look up too much shit. Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is my nightmare. I look up disgusting, random shit constantly and I'm sure it's just messing with my dreams. 


Weird fucking shit though...
I started looking up serial killers last weekend and I was interested in this woman named "Karla Homokla." I kept reading about her and the next day I was watching TV and on lifetime the movie based on her story was on!! It was so weird to watch! 
Then this week I was reading up on lobotomies and just kept looking up podcasts and things because it was so interesting. Tonight I went and saw "Shutter Island" (which was fucking amazing) and kapow! Lobotomies. What the fuck. 
Also! My friend was telling me about a book he was writing about a man who was married to his house. It is a loveless marriage and it is an amazing story. As he's telling me all I can think of is how I recently starting reading and watching things on objectum sexuality. That is the premise to his book. He had no idea it was even real thing! He was pretty stoke on knowing too! 


Maybe my mom and dad were right and I need to stop looking up so much shit. I just wish I was in school or something so I can talk to more people about all these things I want to know or discuss with someone. 

I guess you're not supposed to make Jew jokes at dinner?

The other day my mom smacked my head because I was really full from dinner and said "I feel like a Jew right before Christmas."
The story behind it is that before Christmas was an actual day, Romans would feed Jews a shit ton of food around that time of year. They'd be so full they wouldn't be able to move and the Romans would make them get naked and race in the streets. 
I thought my comment was pretty amusing and relevant. My mom said I'm not allowed to talk like that though. *sigh* Another Jew joke wasted.


Lately it feels like I'm in a relationship with myself. I've felt that way for a couple weeks. It always seems that I'm the only one trying. It doesn't really help to know that he also thinks that I like him more than he likes me and that I want more out of the relationship than he does. Yes, this was an actual conversation.


I don't know. 


At least I enjoy my job. I need more things for my cubicle though :)

Hello Interweb....

Being off the internet for a week was easier and nicer than I thought it could be. I didn't wonder who I wasn't talking to or what I could become a fan of on Facebook; I was just doing my own thing.

I've become super addicted to "Stuff You Should Know" podcasts. I love finding out random facts about anything and everything. Like that black people are less likely to get scabies. Yup interesting. 

I got super sick after Tosh on Saturday. I don't know where it came from cause AJ wasn't sick! AJ took care of me even though he was sick. He put loads of covers on my freezing body, brought me juice AND drew me a hot bath :)

He has been a really good boyfriend lately. I wish he could figure out why he is so sick. He usually only gets this way for 2-3 days and it's been 2 weeks. I'm really worried about him. It's getting worst. 

I really like my new job. I'm glad I have a full time job.